In this episode, I’m reading Chapters 10 and 11 of Dancing the Tightrope. If there is a theme in these two chapters of my journey, I have to call it “stuff happens.” I’m going along, expecting things to go as planned, and instead, something unexpected turns everything on its head. Of course something unexpected happened. That’s how the world works. Why would I think it should go any other way? As I say earlier in the book, this journey showed me that many of my assumptions about pressure, balance and how to develop mental fitness were upside or backwards. These chapters not only capture some of the stories that helped me see things differently, they also capture exactly what I was seeing in my mental process and how I changed it for the better.
Topics
The Mistake Cycle
- Lynn recounts her experience with a rowing shell, highlighting her fear and her husband's teaching methods.
- She describes the challenges of maneuvering the sculling boat, including the wind and the need to shorten the oars.
- Lynn reflects on her dual screen experience, where she chose to solve the problem rather than panic.
- She successfully navigates the boat back to the boathouse, feeling a sense of accomplishment and changed mental processes.
The What's Next Cycle
- Lynn discusses the concept of the pressure gap and how pressure can affect skills.
- She reflects on her dual screen experience with the sculling boat, noting the changes in her internal operating system.
- Lynn shares her experiences with her husband, Russ, and how their differing approaches to danger have caused conflict.
- She describes her journey from fear to confidence, using tools to manage pressure and mistakes.
Controlled Chaos and Facing Fear
- Lynn recounts her lessons with riding instructor Lynn, focusing on building confidence through controlled chaos.
- She describes the challenges of riding Shaw, a spirited horse, and how she learned to handle fear and pressure.
- Lynn shares a specific incident where Shaw spooked, and she successfully stopped the horse without panicking.
- She reflects on the importance of staying with the pressure and not giving in to fear.
The Role of Endorphins and Dopamine
- Lynn discusses the role of endorphins and dopamine in coping with stress and learning.
- She reflects on the benefits of embracing discomfort and pain as part of the learning process.
- Lynn shares insights from Andrew Huberman on the importance of agitation in learning and neuroplasticity.
- She emphasizes the value of natural endorphins and dopamine in rewarding learning and overcoming fear.
The Mistake Cycle and Perfectionism
- Lynn explores the roots of perfectionism and how it affects her approach to learning and mistakes.
- She shares her experiences with piano lessons, where she struggled with perfectionism and self-criticism.
- Lynn reflects on the importance of embracing mistakes as opportunities for growth and learning.
- She discusses the concept of the what's next cycle and how it helps her manage pressure and mistakes.
Holding Space and Trust
- Lynn describes her lessons in holding space and allowing the horse to lead, rather than forcing the issue.
- She shares an incident where she successfully managed Marley's behavior by holding the reins firmly.
- Lynn reflects on the importance of trust and confidence in both herself and the horse.
- She discusses the role of Bruce in helping her develop these skills and her progress in riding.
The Importance of Patience and Mindfulness
- Lynn emphasizes the importance of patience and mindfulness in riding and handling pressure.
- She shares her experiences with Bruce, who encouraged her to focus on the present moment and not get caught up in past mistakes.
- Lynn reflects on the benefits of slowing down and taking a step-by-step approach to learning.
- She discusses the role of mindfulness in managing fear and improving her riding skills.
The Role of Bruce's Methods
- Lynn discusses the impact of Bruce's methods on her approach to learning and handling pressure.
- She reflects on the importance of breaking down tasks into small steps and focusing on the present moment.
- Lynn shares her experiences with Bruce's exercises, such as finding the middle and holding space.
- She emphasizes the value of Bruce's approach in helping her develop confidence and overcome fear.
The Journey to Confidence
- Lynn reflects on her journey from fear to confidence in riding and handling pressure.
- She shares her experiences with different horses, including Marley and Scotty, and how each taught her valuable lessons.
- Lynn discusses the importance of patience, mindfulness, and trust in developing her skills.
- She emphasizes the role of Bruce and Lynn in helping her achieve her goals and overcome challenges.
The Power of the What's Next Cycle
- Lynn discusses the power of the what's next cycle in managing pressure and mistakes.
- She reflects on the importance of focusing on the present moment and not getting caught up in past mistakes.
- Lynn shares her experiences with the what's next cycle and how it helped her improve her skills and confidence.
- She emphasizes the value of this approach in both riding and other aspects of her life.
Challenges on the Big Trail
- Lynn describes starting the Big Trail, noticing Scotty's aggressive behavior towards other horses, including pinning his ears and nipping.
- Despite attempts to slow down and stop Scotty, he continued, requiring several full turns to calm him down.
- Lynn's adrenaline and negative poll increased as Scotty resumed tailgating and nipping, affecting her ability to maintain control.
- Scotty's sensitivity and the steep incline of the trail led to a moment of truth for Lynn, as she struggled to manage Scotty's speed and balance.
Managing Scotty's Behavior
- Lynn recounts how Scotty broke into a canter despite her intention to walk, highlighting the pressure she felt.
- With coaching from Daryl, they managed to get Scotty back to a walk and move smoothly across the ridge.
- The thought of walking down the mountain raised Lynn's adrenaline, which Scotty sensed, increasing the pressure.
- Lynn decided to dismount Scotty to lower the pressure, walking down the hill together, which helped both of them relax.
Reflecting on the Incident
- Bruce questioned Lynn's reading of Scotty's negative poll and her response, suggesting she should have taken corrective action earlier.
- Lynn acknowledged the wisdom in lowering the pressure and walking Scotty down the hill instead of riding him.
- She reflected on the importance of choosing to lower the pressure as a way to navigate difficult situations.
- Despite feeling like a failure initially, Lynn saw the value in the learning experience and the decision to walk Scotty.
Learning and Growth
- Lynn emphasized the importance of seeing the incident as a learning opportunity rather than a failure.
- She acknowledged the need for patience and the gift of time to manage the situation effectively.
- The incident reinforced the idea that lowering pressure is sometimes necessary to navigate challenging situations.
- Lynn expressed her desire to continue improving and being ready for future trail rides with Scotty.