#43 The Elegant Pivot Series Finale: Facing the Dreaded Fighting Francis

You asked for it, so you got it! We decided to wrap up the The Elegant Pivot Series with a final bring-it-all-together conversation. My daughter, Jen and I have been exploring the five principles in my book, “The Elegant Pivot: An Inspired Move for Navigating Corporate Politics”. While the subtitle may refer to “corporate politics”, my readers are telling me it applies to much, much more. As a refresher, here are the five principles along with the past podcasts we have done. 

1: Discern Signal from Noise
2: Focus on what You Want
3: Take Nothing Personally
4: Master Your Stories
5: Develop A Sense of Inquiry

Jen and I have been working together for several years, and given that we are mother/daughter, we get lots of opportunities to encounter some personal politics. The Elegant Pivot, which is about how to assume positive intent, is a really powerful tool to use -- if you can get out of your own way. We've had so much fun having these conversations, because we’ve been applying the principles in the book with each other. We even encountered some live-and-real-time mother/daughter moments about how we have gotten in our own way, and how we navigated some of our difficult conversations. 

In this wrap up, we dive deep into the trickiest character in the book, Fighting Francis. That’s the situation where someone truly has it out for you. When I ask people about assuming positive intent, and where it works for them, they say, “I'm okay to assume positive intent if I don't think they're out to get me, but if I think the other person has negative intent or is out to get me, I just can’t do it. I am going to assume the worst.” I get it and I’ve been there. I still have found that assuming positive intent works wonders and in this conversation, we talk through some practical situations that ended well – and give some strategies for how to use the five principles to navigate the dreaded Fighting Francis.

I would love to hear what you like about this conversation. All you have to do is go to the podcast page on my website at www.lynncarnes.com and click the “send a voicemail button” on the right-hand side of the page. Super easy to do and it helps me know what to bring you in future episodes.  

Of course, also share this episode with your colleagues and friends. I hope you enjoy this episode. 

Additional Topics

  • It’s much easier to show up in the ways we want to show up when the space is created in that way intentionally. It’s when things catch us off guard is where we can find ourselves struggling.
  • Are you going to keep owning the story that created a trigger?
  • How can we pivot when someone is out to get us?
  • Deciphering signal vs. noise
  • Combating lack of enrollment
  • How to connect with people in a aligned way with our goals in mind.
  • Taking things personally can only happen when there is something we are insecure about
  • Starting to pay attention to what you are taking personally if you want to start taking that self awareness journey
  • When we take things personally, we take action that change the course of your life
  • One small mindset shift on a regular basis can greatly change the outcome of your life
  • We are going to experience triggers because we are human, can we master them is the journey of mastering our stories.
  • What are some good types of questions (57:00)
  • How can we effectively handle a Fighting Francis without giving out power away?
  • Pressure is not a test; it is a catalyst to change the patterns and transform ourselves.

Additional Links

Water logic by Edward de Bono

I’m Right You’re Wrong by Edward de Bono

Immunity to Change by Robert Kegan and Lisa Laney

Bruce Anderson

The Elegant Pivot Book 

The Elegant Pivot Workbook 

Guest Contact Info:

Website: ManeelyConsulting.com 

Email: Jennifer@maneelyconsulting.com