This episode includes Dancing the Tightrope Chapters Twelve The Froth is My Friend and Thirteen The Art of Living. These chapters mark a turning point in my journey of making friends with pressure. To this day, I still find it difficult to explain how different this approach to pressure – and to life – is from the typical approach espoused in high performance coaching elsewhere. Rereading these two chapters several years later, I’m still pleased with how well these two chapters explain the “pressure as a catalyst” approach. However, it’s dang near impossible to understand it if you haven’t experienced it.
The best analogy I’ve come up with is what I call the “fish story.” Fish don’t know they live in water. Water is all they know. On the other hand, dolphins are aware of world of water and of course they are aware of air, since they must surface to breathe. Learning about the unseen forces that impacted the way I dealt with pressure was a little like being a fish who discovered there was a whole different world. In order to break the surface and breathe the air of life., I had to ask myself some tough questions along the way.
These two chapters break down the distinction between pressure and the thing causing the pressure, and also those tough questions, which I believe apply to anyone seeking the signal of a genuine life amidst the noise of the modern world.
Topics:
Dancing the Tightrope: Introduction and Overview
- Lynn Carnes introduces the podcast, focusing on the dilemmas of balancing work and life.
- The episode includes chapters 12 and 13, which mark a turning point in her journey of making friends with pressure.
- Lynn explains the concept of pressure as a catalyst and how it differs from the typical approach in high-performance coaching.
- She uses the analogy of a fish discovering air to describe the realization of unseen forces impacting her life.
Chapter 12: The Froth is My Friend
- Lynn discusses how tiny shifts over two and a half years changed her response to pressure.
- She describes fire as a metaphor for pressure, highlighting its dual nature of destruction and transformation.
- Lynn reflects on the role of fire in nature, comparing it to the impact of pressure on her life.
- She shares an exchange with a stranger that made her realize she was working on herself under pressure rather than multiple activities.
Chapter 12: The Froth is My Friend (Continued)
- Lynn recounts the challenges of 2020, including her father's death and various pressures in her life.
- She emphasizes that pressure is a catalyst, not a test, and how this insight changed her approach to life.
- Lynn explains the importance of choosing tools over rules when under pressure.
- She describes the discomfort of pressure and the power to choose one's response, quoting Victor Frankl.
Chapter 12: The Froth is My Friend (Conclusion)
- Lynn discusses the shift from viewing pressure as a test to seeing it as a signal for learning.
- She explains how pressure creates discomfort and the automatic response to make it go away.
- Lynn shares insights from Bruce, who taught her to focus on the feeling created by pressure rather than the source of the pressure itself.
- She describes how pressure acts as a solvent, loosening the glue of emotions and creating opportunities for personal change.
Chapter 13: The Art of Living
- Lynn reflects on her work with Bruce and the paradox of having answers while feeling like she had no answers.
- She describes the challenges clients faced in understanding Bruce's system and how it aligned with her own experiences.
- Lynn shares a drawing she made that helped her understand the choice point between existing and living.
- She emphasizes the importance of living from one's true center and the tools needed to do so.
Chapter 13: The Art of Living (Continued)
- Lynn discusses the difference between rules and tools, and how tools allow for more fluid responses.
- She explains the concept of the mistake cycle and the what's next cycle, highlighting the importance of starting new behaviors.
- Lynn shares her journey of using the drawing with clients and how it helped them navigate pressure.
- She reflects on the need for self-awareness to consistently choose tools over rules under pressure.
Chapter 13: The Art of Living (Conclusion)
- Lynn describes the five stages of self-awareness: commitment, curiosity, courage, congruence, and clarity.
- She explains how these stages helped her navigate the summer of 2020 and overcome her fear of another accident.
- Lynn emphasizes the importance of developing self-awareness to unleash one's true nature.