One of the questions I often ask teams at the beginning of a working session uncovers the forces for change operating on their company: “What are the most pressing realities facing your company today, both internally and externally?” Regardless of the organization level of the team, I suggest they answer this question with their CEO hat on.
Before moving on to the point of this blog, think about that question for yourself. What are the most pressing realities facing YOU today? Make a list – you could either write it down, or make the list in your head. Quick tip: I suggest you write it down for two reasons. First, it’s easier to remember. More importantly, the list of your current realities will seem much more manageable on paper than they will if you leave them floating around in your head, where they will wait until it’s time to sleep to bring your attention to them.
Back to working with teams. No matter what ends up on their list, a palpable sense of overwhelm enters the room as we catalog the many realities they face. One of the unspoken dilemmas they often experience, both as teams and individuals, is the question of whether or not they are up for the challenges they face. The world is rapidly becoming more complex, and the pressure to perform keeps growing.
Most of the realities that hit the list are outside their control: regulatory environment, political climate, the rise of technology/artificial intelligence, supply chain disruptions, workforce challenges, health care costs, and economic pressures are just a few of the uncertainties they face. Then there are the family challenges. Aging parents, growing children, family budgets, and living in the world represented on the chart increase the sense of overwhelm.
Almost no one is qualified for the job they are in, because the job is changing faster than their learning curve. That’s bad enough, and there is more. Here’s the catch: they believe they SHOULD be able to handle all of it.
And that belief pours gasoline on the fires they are trying to extinguish.
Before I go on, look at the current realities you are facing. How many of them are within your current capabilities? In other words, you know exactly how to tackle them, and it’s simply a matter of laying out the steps and following through to do each one. How many of them require you to think differently, stress test your assumptions or get help from people you normally don’t get help from? In other words, they require you to learn something WHILE you are in the middle of dealing with the problem?
The educational system implants some ideas in us that operate in the background. Knowing the answer to the test is so engrained in us, we don’t even recognize it. Much of our work is knowledge-based, and there’s a “right” answer. It’s tax season, and there is a right answer to each box on the tax form. If you earn a salary, one of your income numbers is right there on the W2. It’s best to follow the “Rules” when filling out your taxes, or doing any other technical activity that involves having a right answer.
Most of our current realities can’t be solved with knowledge and technical skills, or we would have solved them already. To stay with the tax example, changing the way you earn income is a very different challenge than adding up your paychecks over the last year. For example, going from being a salaried employee to a freelancer or entrepreneur requires a significant shift in mindset. Suddenly, uncertainty, ambiguity and vulnerability are front and center. Much like those same realities are front and center in the teams in my working sessions. When facing realities that are changing the game and forcing us to see things differently, knowledge alone isn’t enough. We need tools—ways of approaching uncertainty—that help us experiment, learn, and adapt.
The trick is to get out of our own way.
If we believe we should know how to handle something, then the last thing we want to experience is uncertainty, ambiguity and vulnerability. When we know the answers to the test, it feels like we are hitting on all cylinders. When we don’t know the answers – when we have to use the trial and error method, which means making mistakes over and over again – it feels different.
Take a moment and make some notes for yourself. How do you feel physically when everything is working? When you have the answers? If you struggle to get in touch with how you feel, imagine this. You are playing trash can basketball, where you throw wadded up balls of paper into a trash can a few feet away. Imagine the feeling when you hit the basket. What is the sensation, and when did you first feel it? When the “ball” goes in, what do you say to yourself? For me, I sense it’s going to hit the second it leaves my hand, and the feeling of silky smoothness runs from my hand to my belly. I say “yes!” It’s almost an internal “click.” Now imagine the feeling when you miss. What is the sensation and when did you feel it? For me, it’s an internal sinking sensation that feels heavy. It’s like a “clunk.” If I don’t watch it, I will say mean things to myself such as “What’s wrong with you?” or “come on, you can do better.” Now your turn. You can even try it. Get to know what you do when you feel the certainty of a good shot, and vulnerability of missing the mark.
If you are like most of us humans, the sensation of missing the mark – making a mistake, not knowing the answer, feeling a little lost – is something to be avoided at all costs.
Avoidance—more accurately, sensation avoidance—is the gasoline that accelerates the fire of our negative perception towards our current realities. Believing that we are not supposed to feel the ick of searching for the answers is the reason we shake our fists at the forces for change, rather than riding the wave.
The sensation is not the problem. It’s the belief that we shouldn’t be feeling that sensation. It’s the belief that we should know the answer.
Now, imagine for a minute that there was a tool you could reach for that would make the sensation of missing the mark a good thing.
Imagine treating that “clunk” not as failure, but as useful information that helps you decide what to try next.
One of the tools we don’t think about much as humans is something our far-distant ancestors did every day: foraging.
Merriam Webster defines it this way: foraging is the act of searching for provisions, wandering in search of food, or, in a historical context, collecting food for horses and cattle. It also refers to the act of rummaging, scouring, or raiding for resources.
In this context, foraging means searching for answers or resources, using trial and error, to find what you need to address the realities as they come.
Watching animals forage is watching trial and error in action. They are drawn from one place to the other, sniffing, discovering, sometimes eating, sometimes moving on. You can almost see the “click” when they find something yummy, and also see the “clunk” when they come up empty.
What you don’t see is self-criticism, rumination, desperation to get the right answer. They just move to the next promising place.
When foraging, we can use the “clunk” feeling as a signal to move on as we recognize “this isn’t it, let’s try something else.”
Notice how much more productive it is to forage, as opposed to the many strategies we have unconsciously developed to avoid feeling the clunk.
Foraging might look like testing an idea with one customer, asking a question you normally wouldn’t ask, or trying a small experiment instead of waiting until you’re certain. Yes, you are going to feel the “clunk.”
Adapting to the current realities we all face is uncomfortable. So is avoiding the current realities. Same discomfort; different outcomes.
Looking back at your list of realities, ask yourself:
• Where am I expecting myself to already know the answer?
• Where might experimentation serve me better than certainty?
• What small place could I start foraging this week?