On one of my trips, I faced an unexpected dilemma: one of my favorite vests got stolen from the Centurion Lounge. Traveling alone, I made the mistake of leaving it on the chair as I went to the restroom. When I came back, it was gone. The best news was that my keys and wallet were NOT in the pocket! It was a splurge when I bought it, so I was super bummed to lose it. On the other hand, I already HAD a black vest, so I could argue this one was redundant. But I really missed this vest!
A year later, we were in Texas with family for the first Christmas after not traveling during COVID. Believe it or not, the store was still selling the vest. Feeling flush with Christmas cash, I splurged again. This time, I chose a different color. I got to wear it a little bit in the Spring, and then back in the closet it went.
This Fall, I pulled it out on the first crisp day on my way out the door. I couldn’t get it zipped, but not to worry – this fancy vest also has snaps! I put it on and went about my day.
The next time I went to put it on, I had the time to get it zipped properly. Except, it the lower part of the zipper just wouldn’t catch. On that day, I gave up and put on my other vest. I repeated this pattern for a couple more days. It was so frustrating!
Finally, I decided to slow it down even more. I picked up the vest and started aligning the zipper. No luck. After fiddling with several times, something clicked in my brain. It was time to become a detective to figure out what was wrong with my very expensive vest. When I looked at other coats and vests, I realized the little stopper thingy at the bottom was gone.
Now I wondered if it was possible to replace said stopper thingy. I headed to Google. It turns out the stopper thingy has an official name: zipper box. Google sent me to YouTube, where several people offered excellent videos on how to replace the zipper box on a broken zipper.
All I needed now was – you guessed it – a zipper box. Amazon to the rescue! My first purchase was the correct color, but the wrong size. Did you know that zipper boxes come in size #3, #5, #8, and #10? Now you do! So I went back to order the variety pack.
When the correct order came in, I began to assemble my tools. Feeling very empowered, I pulled out the vest, the lighter (yes, you heat up one of the parts, at least according to the instructions I intended to follow), the pliers, and of course, the new, properly sized zipper box.
Time to fix my vest!
Suddenly my good intentions and the risk of burning my vest collided. “What if this doesn’t work?” I thought. I remembered that I would be heading into Asheville in the next couple of days. I could go to the same store where I bought the original vest! A part of me was quite irritated that such an expensive item broke so easily.
As I walked into to the store, I ran into one of their employees at the entry. He gave me a somewhat knowing look, which puzzled me. Nonetheless, I told him about buying the vest in Texas the year before and how it didn’t work now, and I wondered if they might be able to replace the vest or at least help me repair it. He asked me if he could see the vest.
When I handed it to him, he looked at the top instead of the bottom. I started to correct him when he pulled the ring I had failed to notice at the TOP of the zipper. He slid it down and handed me my vest. “Should be all good,” he said. The vest has a double zipper. I tried it myself and sure enough…
But wait a minute! Are you telling me the answer was there all along? He laughed and told me that my problem was fairly common. Or maybe he was trying to make me feel better. It certainly sounded like I wasn’t the first person to arrive needing coaching on how to use the zipper on my vest.
As I left the store, I had mixed feelings. Yes, I was relieved that my vest was in working order (notwithstanding that the weather has now gotten way too cold for it.) I was also a little embarrassed. How could I have missed it?
I had plenty of time to reflect on my drive home, since driving to Asheville is now a 55+ mile drive instead of the 25 miles it was before Hurricane Helene.
Rather than beat myself up over it, I got curious.
What made me miss the second zipper that was practically right in front of my eyes?
I thought I knew.
I had shut down my curiosity because I already had the answer…or so I thought.
It reminded me of how desperately our brains seek answers. I’ve led more brainstorming sessions with leadership teams than I can count. One of the distinctions I make with groups who have decided to explore new ideas is the difference between diverging thoughts and converging thoughts. Diverging thoughts move outward, trying to bring in something new and different. What else is there? What haven’t we thought of? Where else should we look? This type of thinking puts mind into the physical sensation of uncertainty, which can feel uncomfortable.
Converging thoughts close in on the answers, trying to get to the end and move on to the next thing. Which one is right or best? What can we eliminate? What should we do? This type of thinking puts the mind into the sensation of completion, which feels like progress.
In the brainstorming sessions, we have to be very disciplined to say, just for now, we are going to keep moving outward and resist the temptation to judge, close off option and hurry to the end.
The leaders I work with tend to love progress and lean away from discomfort and uncertainty, so this is difficult for them to say the least.
And clearly, it was difficult for me as well! I jumped to the end, even with the answer right there staring me in the face. It’s almost as if my desire to follow my fix-it strategy to the end blinded me to the obvious solution right in front of my face.
It’s been a good reminder to keep asking questions, even when I think I have the answer.
What questions would help you explore new ideas? Where are you willing to feel uncertainty for the sake of learning something new? What would a problem you are trying to solve look like if it were easy?